The grudge?

My big sister is getting married to the man that kicked me out of their apartment in the middle of a snowstorm and laughed about my eating disorder then half way through my treatment broke up with her and crushed her heart.  The wedding is in five days.  Funny thing is, I've for the most part forgiven him.... but yet there is this urge right now to go egg my "friend's" house... the friend that was supposed to stick with me through everything but left me alone when I needed her most and took away every one that mattered to me and turned them against me..,  For some reason I can't let that grudge go but I'm okay with welcoming my new brother-in-law into the family.  Weird how the past haunts you.  I just can't let go no matter how hard I try.  No matter how much I want to make it stop hurting it still does... people say it's a process but I don't ever want to let that grudge go, maybe it wasn't her alone, but she was a big part of what led me to almost ending it all.  It feels like a fresh wound and tonight it hurts an awful lot.  My fear of abandonment is no laughing matter.