The Most Dangerous Game

Friendship, it seems, is nothing more than a nasty game of pollitics.  Maybe it's just my highschool student mantalitly, but trust doesn't come easy for me.  Maybe the world is really out to get me, but even I don't believe that's true.  Am I out to get me? Probably.  That "blood in the water" cliche holds so much truth.  Highschool is like being part of an experiment gone awry.  A gaggle of mad scientest (who's to say who's not mad?) have been plotting the destruction of future genorations for years and now their day of total conquest has arrived! Good ridence to the "best and the brightest," here it's a more primitive sort of selection.  We all got thrown into the shark tank before we could even test the water and now it's sink or swim, eat or be eaten.

I find it difficult to believe that it is my senior year and I'm just now grasping this concept.  Some crazy loon thought the best way to show us the darker side of friendship; the manipulative, sneaky, carry a knife with you always so you can stab someone in the back kind of friendship, would be total emmersion. 

Amature Pollitics 101: keep your friends close and you're enemies closer and sleep with one eye open.  Better yet, don't sleep at all- it keeps you on edge and ready for the attack.  Never take down your gaurd or abandon your post, it's safe there- the real world is filled with slimey polliticians that will do anything to get their way and if you want to survive it, you MUST be one of them.

There is no way around it.  Forget Mr. Nice Guy and Goody Two-Shoes- they're of no good to you now.  They are nothing more than memories of your own weakness and spinelessness.  GROW UP!  This is life we're living, you knew it would be like this so pick your jaw up off the ground.  Friends are for people that have already lost the game or that are trying desperately to win it.  Either way, they're useless to you.  When they break your heart it will only put them one step closer to what they really wanted and leave you choking in the dust.

Is this too harsh? I only say this out of love, right? But then maybe I am just trying to win.  Whatever, think what you must.  Set yourself up for disappointment, or don't even give it a chance.  It's up to you use this information in whatever way you see fitting.  As for me, I've already got it figured out.  I know what I'm doing.

Baking Project... just for funsies

You like?  This is the cake my older sister and I made FROM SCRATCH for her fiance.  Last week was their 5 year anniversary (dating) so we made his fave cake... sort of.  We started making it and realized that the strawberry jello mix we had was in molds in the fridge so we used cherry, but we had already whipped up the strawberry puree so it's cherry-strawberry flavored with cream-cheese frosting, which I personally don't know how people can stomach.  Cheese and sugar should never mix, but apparently it's really good.  Oh yes, and it's extra special because it's the first time either of us have made a double layer- we debated forever which way to stack it.  At the very least it was a good way to blow off some time.

Thinking day

Today has been a thinking day.  The last thought that went through my mind before I decided to write this entry was something like, 'I want people to give up on me, I wish they didn't care.'  I don't really know why but my best guess is it's something to do with the fact that my parents have given up on me.  I usually don't believe it, if a friend told me that her parents had given up on her I'd tell her they love her and they are just trying to do what's best, but it's not like that. 

I had to be civil with my parents today because my Papa is in town (the one person in my family that doesn't confuse me or my feelings.)  The entire day my mother found ways to insert indirect insults to me such as, "I can't seem tell anybody their make a mistake, they ignore me and screw up their lives anyways." I really would like to believe that her sole purpose in life isn't to make me cry myself to sleep and that she really does want me to get well and I hate that I care what she thinks because I know it's distorted. 

She is SO proud of my little sister and won't waste a moment not telling me that.  She actually managed to bring up musical and the scholarship I lost in the same sentence today then preceded to tell me not to worry to much because Nicole will get it for her.  It took everything I had not to run away crying- actually I probably would have if not for my 2 sisters blocking my way out.  If there is anything that makes me more uncomfortable than my mother it is being cornered or having someone look over my shoulder.  I can't explain it but sometimes I want to slap people in the face for breaking my bubble.

Ugh, it's been a really lame day and I wish it was over, I wish it was all over.

Recycling at it's best





So I spent three days snowed in with my friend and in the madness we decided to raid her art suppiles.  Long story short- she had a bag of broken clay and I decided to paint a little while she worked on a canvas.  Acrylics on clay :) fun fun.

Those malaprophisms getcha every time...

I really just felt like using a big word that few people understand in the title to catch peoples attention, other than it's complexity it serves no function (maybe irony) in this entry. I say irony because a malaprophism is, simply put, a misunderstood cliche or colloquialism, usually used by a naive child who just wants to sound like all the grown-ups.

A few days ago I went to the mall with a friend and her mother. My friend started bashing on her mom's bad behaviors such as running over children in the mall and telling them to get out of the way. This drew her to the conclusion that her mom "is the ebony of republicans." I figured it was okay to go ahead and laugh until I ran out of breath because she is my age and couldn't distinguish "ebony" and "epidomy." The next day in Latin she decided to brag to our teacher about how she uses "latter" and "former" correctly in conversations when we were learning about the "hic" "ille" charts... Oh well, I digress, I'm probally sticking my foot in my mouth writing this.

Oz has been overtaken by a freak snowstorm the last few days. The Ozians were not prepared. The blizard hit Monday night, Tuesday morning there was up to 3 feet of snow in some places. It was ridiculous, the plows couldn't even get out and the temp was frequently below zero. I stayed with another friend the past few days- I'm glad I got to be snowed in with her as opposed to anybody else, but I still had a nasty case of cabin fever. I couldn't blog and my cell phone battery was rapidly dying. I braves the snow today after spending hours digging with a garden shovel, pitcher, and rubbermaid lid to get her Mom's car out, then went on to rescue mine. Lucky me got to drive in the snow for the first time today by myself with a cell phone battery flickering in and out of consciousness. I got stuck 3 times, 2 of which some pretty awesome Ozians helped me out, the 1st time, however, I was on my own. It was absolutely terifying and I don't recomend it to anyone.

Anyways, I finally got computer access again and I'm stir crazy. It's 2 O'clock in the morning but I refuse to sleep. Not until I blog about some irrelavant topic long enough to get my brain to stop thinking about the relavant topics. That probally makes no since... if I'm doing pointless, extraneous activities then I don't have to be left alone with my thoughts. I just talk about junk until I can't stay awake anymore then I pass out, avoiding the whole 'being alone with your thoughts' mess (: I'm a mad genius, I know. Well, obviously the point of no return is approaching quickly and I'm sure I am boring you, dear reader, so I shall be going now... or maybe I'll watch some Salad Fingers. I love me some Salad Fingers!