There was in interestiong topic mentioned in IOP this morning that made me want to rip my hair out because it felt so close to home... not me, my Mom. The speaker was talking about how a parent may think they are a failure because their child got a D (or in my case a B) on a spelling test, they failed to overlook the good thnigs, or they could see good things in other people but when they saw the same thin in themselves it wasn't the same in some twisted reasoning. Well, all I can say to that is "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." Now I get so mad when my Mom tries to help because it will always end up in her own pity party. I never want to be like that, but I fear I am already well on my way to getting there. Okay well that is my lame rant for today... now that I have some to the realization of what I want this blog to be I really don't care so much about trying to make it perfect. I just want it to be me at face value. That is something not seen by most people so count yourself as lucky <3
Much love,
SaraJune
I wrote a lovely long heartfelt message here about apples, and tree's and processing, and moms and daughters, and its okay and blah blah blah...and it refused to post it. Now i'm mad because it was a pretty awesome post that got lost..haha, oh well. <3 no ripping your hair out. The apple never falls far from the tree. Unless the tree is on a hill and the apple rolls down a hill away from the tree, but even then the apple goes through a lot of abuse/trauma to be far away from the tree. its perfectly fine and natural to see your hurt in others especially when its a parent and child. A Mother and Daughter have the closeest relationship than any other relationship known regardless if it is a good or bad relationship. Our mothers are an older version of us. They will always have our heart beat within them and we will always live with their very blood giving us our breathe of life. My mom doesn't try to help me. She just wallows and then drinks herself numb. She's addicted. I realized I started to get addicted to pain killers, so I stopped to ensure I would not be like my mother in that sense. The thing about Mothers and Daughters is, we will always be spinning images of each other, but we can still control our future and who we are as an individual. If you don't want to be like your mother, you dont' have to be unless you let yourself be that way. Sometimes when we try to help out other people we start to hurt again because we have never fully healed from the first time it occurred. Its like me telling you you are beautiful because you care. If you told me the same thing I'd say lies..lol.
ReplyDeleteYou are too smart for my kind! Just kidding :p thank you, I know we are different and the same... sometimes it makes my cringe thinking I share such a bond with her but it is what it is and MAYBE oneday the bond could be mended, or at least repaired. Something I have discovered in life; relationships inhale exuberuntly. bleh I just want to shrivel up into a ball and disappear for awhile. Rough session today :/
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